tumblr_mpbzp4RYmT1qd6wugo1_500

Of People and Opportunities

I’ve probably reiterated this several times, I’m not a huge fan of people and physical contact of any kind. But on the other hand, I do enjoy talking to people, although that seems to be my narcissism rearing its head out. But the one thing I like about people is that the majority of the people give each other a second chance to do things, work out friendships, relationships and so on.

And I admire these people because I can’t seem to get myself to give many people the second chance that they deserve. I’m a firm believer in seizing the day and giving it your all, if you want to do something, you better do it properly. I won’t sympathize with those who can’t seem to do the thing the like, just because they’re lazy or have something easier to do. Or because they have to shoulder someone else’s whims and fancies over theirs. I don’t sympathize with those people who let opportunities pass by them just because they are honouring someone else’s wishes.

I travel by train in the morning to college, every day there are these children who board the same train as I do. And, I know what you’re probably thinking, she’s a seventeen year old girl, it’s not like she’s an adult. But I’m talking about seven-twelve year old kids, all of them going to school. It’s a privately funded school, I suppose since they all seem as though they come from families with struggling against poverty. They seem to board the train from different stations, but the moment they seem that another has the same school bag (they all have the same one) they become one, even going so far as to giving filthy looks to those ladies in the train who try to take advantage of their small size and age. [To clarify, this is when the ladies on the train ask the older ones to take the younger ones on their laps, instead of letting them sit. This is because they want their seat.]

What I admire most about these kids is that they obviously face several problems at home and may have at several points thought about giving up education in exchange for helping their family with menial labour and earning fast money. They aren’t throwing opportunity they are getting, they are studying, taking full advantage of the facilities they are getting. I see them studying, their eyes drooping with sleep, as they help each other complete the homework or they help another with memorizing what they have to study.
People, I have come to realize are different, but somehow we all share the same core traits. Well, most of us do. We are ready to grab any opportunity that we get, no matter the cost. This is probably selfish of us to do, but we know we might never get a chance to do something like this again and we take it. Humans are selfish. Humans are flawed.

And the fact that some of us might have to work hard for a great opportunity to come our way, while others just discard it is the reason I don’t like people who throw away their chances at life. The action may have a logical reason, but I think it’s really unfair. Some of us need the opportunity that others just cast away as though it means nothing.

This is also why I feel these people shouldn’t be given a second chance at said opportunity. I might sound like a hypocrite, since I will obviously and absolutely someday ask someone to give me a second chance. But right now, the unfairness of the universe and just life, in general, stings.

This is another reason why I only like a handful of people. I am perceptive enough to see someone whiling away their time, until it’s the last moment and they need help from someone else to complete their tasks. It is another reason why I seem to detest and judge extremely harshly, those people who never do anything to deserve something but get it just because they know someone, or because of some superficial quality they possess.
If this post came across as a mess, it is because it is. A mess, that’s what.

In other news, my college fest went smoothly. I made many new friends, most of whom I really admire and respect. My exams and presentations begin tomorrow, and as usual I will be busier than a busy bee. [That was not a good analogy at all.]

I am doing so many things at the same time, taking everything headfirst and doing literally everything I can. I have no time left for anything else. But I love it so much. I am in the college of my choice, studying what I love surrounded by the people I care about. It’s going to be a good time.

I apologize for not blogging as frequently. I will try to write more, though I do not promise the same. I will probably complete my years’ worth of posts in November as I will attempt to do NaBloPoMo once again.

Until the next time,
Nia.

P.S – Also, I have read Lord of the Files by William Golding as my first book in English Lit class and will probably write a review on it. Sometime. Maybe.
10402755_652623724831381_1512571446178598950_n

tumblr_mdsukjSTBK1qb5t88o1_r1_500

tumblr_mnxeodG0M51r7gwzmo1_500

tumblr_mpbzp4RYmT1qd6wugo1_500

tumblr_n5u6940H8i1slpi32o1_500

Of Growing Up and Going On

There are a few select people in every single person’s life who impact their character, personality and life so much that they actually manage to bring about quite a change. Most of the time, the impact can actually change your whole life and alter your perception about the many things you viewed. It could be positive, or it could be negative. But at the end of the day, your life has been changed.

One of my best friends actually befriended me when i was probably at my worst. I wasn’t the best person back then, and even though I am far from being that now, believe or not, I was actually meaner back then. I was a bully of sorts, except I didn’t really get scared if they stood up to me.

I remember back in eight grade, when my friend first met me, I had actually behaved like some sort of scholar who loved studying. It’s a wonder that we are still as thick as thieves. I owe her my current personality today. If not for her, I would probably be a mean, stuck up, snobby bully who didn’t have any friends because she tried too hard to fit in somewhere she never belonged.

Back in school, reading was not really the thing that would land me a spot on the cool kid’s team. She was the very first person who actually showed me that I was actually cool for reading books while others whiled away time watching TV or playing video games. She was the person who told me that it didn’t matter that I didn’t fit, it was okay to be different. She was different, she was a versatile person, inherently awesome and without even trying. She was friends with everyone, hell, she still is.

She was the first person I knew of who liked Harry Potter. Reading those books were changing my perception of the world, expanding my imagination and feeding my creativity and sharing that with her made it all the more better. We discussed stuff, learned about new things, she basically changed me for the better.

It’s been five years and I’ve changed three of my constant best friends, leading to the third one now. We meet once a year, but we can still talk as though we’ve met every day since school ended and college began. We’re in different streams, we study at colleges at different ends of the city and still when we meet we can talk as though we’ve seen each other very frequently.

The reason for this blog post is that today was my orientation into the three years I will be studying for my Arts degree. And both of my best friends have chosen different things and have managed to succeed in the fields that they have chosen. The best friend whose stories I recollected, she’s going all the way across the globe to America for her graduate studies. And while I will miss her immensely, I know we will still remain the best of friends.

The other best friend, she’s studying for her BMS degree and I will miss sitting next to her in lectures but I am happy that both of us have managed to follow our dreams and are well on our way to achieving them.

R and J, you have impacted my life in ways that you probably couldn’t fathom. And I am sure that if you managed to befriend me when I was such a complete twat, we will remain as thick as thieves for the rest of our lives. [And, since I'm anti social and crazy, I doubt anyone else could stomach me.]

This is an epiphany of sorts, since everything is changing. We’re not children anymore, we will be legal adults in less than a few months. It’s time to grow up, go on and realize our dream and go wherever it takes us. After all, it is our dreams, and our desires that make us who we really are.

And for everything else, there’s Skype and Whatsapp.

ImageImageImage

Image

 

Image

Of Forging Unbreakable Bonds

There are very few people in this world that I would do anything for. After my family, barely anyone makes the list. But right now, I’ve got these people that I know, who are so amazing, so lovely, that I know in my heart that I would willingly sell my soul for them. 

I’m not very good with people in general, they baffle me more often than not. But somehow, in the last two and a half years I have managed to get to know these five people from my college, and now I know that they are my ultimate rock. We have a bond that has been forged out of metal, one that isn’t going to break under the test of time. 

I’ve finished the TV series Supernatural, and while horror is the main genre of the show, it is also immensely emotional. The show is beautiful, and somehow I’m left at the end of the series gasping for air since there’s not going to be another episode until October. The show, along with showing me what great television is, also made me learn some excellent virtues. 

Sacrifice, Love, Hatred, Pain, Suffering, these are a few things I’ve learnt so far from the show. From my friends in college, I’ve learnt sharing, caring, trusting, understanding are all integral parts of friendships, hell, any relationship. People are probably the most complex things on the surface of the earth. And we’re just beginning to unravel what great mysteries they are. 

Certain people in your life have an impact on your life. If you’re fortunate,they have a favorable impact on your life and change your personality for the better. If not, then the opposite happens. Then there are those people who have an impact and don’t move away like majority of the people you will encounter in your life. Those are the kinds of people that have to be cherished, for they are few and far in between. 

I’ve been very lucky to get some amazing friends in college, and I don’t have a shadow of a doubt that we will still be friends in the years to come, no matter which degree we choose to study, what job we take up or where we end up later in our lives. These are profound bonds of friendship, that almost nothing can break. I know these people like the back of my hand and I know that when times are tough, they’ll have my back. 

Sometimes, it’s not necessary for one to have a great first meeting with your best friend. For all the other times, meeting them on the first day of college and getting their name wrong will do it. 

Until next time, 

Nia. 

Image

Image

Image

ImageImage

Of Transitions and Endings

I’m not sure if people here know that I’m a cynic, but I am one. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something or the other to happen that will end up disappointing me or else making me feel like I’m the one doing the disappointing. The reason for the opening sentence to this blog post is that I just finished watching the How I Met Your Mother finale. And no, I’m not here to discuss how the episode was, I’m here to talk about how it made me feel.  (Also, I cried when the mother died in the narration. The only other TV show to make me cry was Supernatural.)

I think it was somewhere around mid- 2009 that I began watching Star World because someone I knew from church told me watching cartoons and Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly Place wasn’t very cool for a twelve year old. And I distinctly remember that How I Met Your Mother is the first English TV show I started watching that was not made by Disney.

That was the show that helped me make the transition from a rude, irritating , awkward girl to a girl who is still rude, but has grown up. Somewhere down the line, I lost interest in the show that set in motion the wheels which got me where I am right now.

I think HIMYM is the only romance / comedy show I’ve watched and fallen in love with. I’m not that girl who lives on cheesy romance novels and flicks, I’d take the cold slice of reality over that anytime. But there is something in the way that Ted relentlessly pursued the love of his life, the mother of his children, even though he didn’t know who she was and when he would meet her that reassures me. Something that tells me love is not dead.

I come from a land where most of the marriages are built on nothing but an arrangement or a contract of sorts, between the spouses, the in-laws, the families and so on. I’ve not come across a couple until now who’ve actually fallen in love, gotten married and then stayed together. The very idea seems absurd here.

But somehow, my twelve year old self wasn’t the cynic I am now. She loved and fell in love with the characters and the way that Ted met the love of his life. But now, I don’t even hesitate to say that will never ever happen in real life. Real life is much more brutal. It would take a whole lot more than nine seasons and one finale to cover everything.  Marriage is probably built on change and that is something I will have to get used to if I ever want to have a relationship, whether or not it culminates in marriage.

My life is changing and the changes are pretty huge. School is long done and junior college is also over. Three years from now I’ll be done with senior college and will probably be working then. This Summer has been the summer of catching up on all the shows I missed out on, those movies I was too busy to watch and those memories I was too busy saving for some other day.

In less than two days from now, my results will be out and while that thought both relives and frightens me, it will be the first of the things to change my life. By then, I’ll have finished watching the show I wanted to – Supernatural, all through until the terrifying finale.

Maybe, there will be another show that will help in the transition from being a teenager to an adult that I will legally become next February.  Here’s to new beginnings.

This isn’t the end. This is the start.

Until next time,

Nia.

tumblr_mqpw0tk1zm1rk47vpo1_500

tumblr_mq43atUf5o1r2rx3wo1_500

tumblr_mq8jffrQet1rdeylgo1_500

tumblr_mqk7caVdjr1qiwp3oo1_500

tumblr_mqq5icpiyS1rve3pdo1_500

tumblr_ms9v6yE1md1rws3yho1_500

An Award with a German Name – The Liebster Award

Aloha! To people who still read my blog. I apologize for not writing the entire April but I have been in three different cities in the past three weeks and one of them was in another country. I haven’t been able to access the internet [horrifying, I know] but well, here I am.

I have been nominated for an award, the Liebster Award by my friend Christina who has an amazing blog with an awesome name on WordPress too - Capricious FlibbertigibbetThank you for the nomination, Christina. I really enjoyed your blog post about the same.

So, here’s where everything you need to know is – Details. Everything from the rules and what you have to do if nominated is written there. Without anymore rambling from me, let’s begin.

liebster3

Here are the questions Christina’s asked her nominees:

 1. Favorite music artist/band?

I don’t really have any favorites as such since I’m not a very big fan of music in general. But if I had to choose, I’d go with Capital Cities as their song Safe and Sound is currently on replay.

 2. What, according to you, is your best quality?

Humor. I’m proud of the fact that I can make stuff funny. It may not be nice, happy humor, but it is sarcastic, witty and at times dry.

 3. What is the one thing that drives you nuts?

People spitting on the road. Or anywhere in public really. And since almost everyone in India does it, I’ve no relief anywhere.

 4. Who is your favorite fictional character?

It changes with every novel I read. But Hermione Granger [Harry Potter] is someone I love, respect and idolize.

 5. What do you want to get/already have as a tattoo?

I probably want some quote on me. I’m not too fond of butterflies or eyes or those sort of things. I don’t think I’ll be comfortable having them on my body.

 6. What serves as an effective stress-buster for you?

Reading. Talking to my friends. They always work.

 7. What is the hardest thing you have ever done, or the biggest obstacle you have faced in your life?

I’m really not sure. Everything that’s difficult seems to be the hardest thing I’ve overcome until the next one rolls around. But staying without my mother since I’ve been 12 is definitely on the top of the list.

 8. What inspired you to start blogging?

I just happened to check out a friend’s blog and decided to let the world decide if I could write or not instead of just criticizing myself.

 9. Do you have any unusual pet peeves?

Many. People are one of my biggest and probably most unusual pet peeves. I also can’t stand nail paint. I hate it.

10. What is your favorite quote?

I have many quotes I like, here’s one of them -


― “When adults say, “Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

11. Who has had the biggest influence on you?

Undoubtedly, my mother. She’s my rock and along with my father, she has played a crucial role in the way I am today.

The second part of the award – 11 facts about me – 

1. I have rarely trusted my friends after two of my best friendships went haywire

2. I love sour, salty substances more than sweet things.

3. I have a spot on my sofa which no one really sits on, unless my brother asks me. It’s the best place to watch TV from and it gets the best ventilation.

4. I get addicted to any new show I start watching. Be it Supernatural, Drake and Josh or F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

5. I hate instagram. If I ever open an insta-account, I hope I know how much I’ll despise myself.

6. I love Harry Potter. A bit too much.

7. Dystopia is my favorite genre. Teen fiction Dystopia would be overkill.

8. I would like to own a huge library of my own. Like the one in Beauty and the Beast.

9. I have a hard time pronouncing words for the first time if I’ve only ever read them before. One of my most memorable mispronunciations was ‘martial’ for ‘marital’. And I was speaking about ‘marital rape’. Needless to say, the entire class I was reading to was in splits.

10. I’m rarely embarrassed. I probably don’t have any sense of when to feel embarrassed and why.

11. I’m horrible with technology. I’ve ruined phones, lost pen drives, broken hard-disk drives with crucial info. Safe to say I’m pen and paper person all the way.

The third part –  11 questions from me and the blogs I nominate:

Questions – 

1. What does the name of your blog signify?

2. What is the biggest goal of your life?

3. Do you prefer nutella or peanut butter ? And if you had to choose one?

4. What do you think about teen relationships?

5. Define what happiness is to you.

6. Why do you blog?

7. Which are the three of your favorite books?

8. Who are the people you trust the most?

9. If you had a choice to either become a wizard or an X-men hero, what would your choice be?

10. Which is your favorite TV show?

11. What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

And the nominations are – 

1. Musings From Neville’s Navel

2. Inconclusive 

3. The Loony Teen Writer

I know I’m meant to give 5-11 nominations, but I only read a select few blogs and most of them have already been nominated.

So, this is the end of another post which I didn’t really think much for. Hopefully the month of my shall bring more blog posts which shall strive to be more thoughtful.

Have a splendid day/night,

Until next time,

Nia.

tumblr_msfjdkgS2i1rnask1o1_r2_250

tumblr_muc7mni0T51rjizc9o1_500

tumblr_mv5zyjAOPG1r3ey0mo1_500

tumblr_n0d2h1MXld1rlcnpko1_500

tumblr_n2uzq9bls41rafl9xo1_500

 

Beginnings and Endings

There are several things in the world. Some of them are fixed, others are variable, changing. But there’s one thing, everything here on earth has a start and an end, and each thing is different. Unique.

I suppose I have been feeling nostalgic lately; the two solid things in my life have ended, school and junior college are over. What follows next is a dark, sketchy road the directions to which I don’t have. But that’s okay I suppose, because I know the destination. And a bit of hitchhiking and camping never really killed anybody’s dreams.

A couple of new developments in my life include the fact that I have finally finished watching every  single episode of the sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S. There are absolutely no more for me to watch and somehow that makes me feel a bit sad. I will never watch a new episode again, never laugh at a new joke joke Chandler makes, never roll my eyes at Monica’s rigidity, Rachel’s silliness, be charmed by Casanova Joey claims to be, be a little worried about Phoebe’s weirdness or Ross’s geekiness.

But there’s always a silver lining to a dark cloud. When something ends, something begins. I have now started watching Supernatural, the famous, the acclaimed paranormal show about two brothers who go ghost-demon-devil hunting. It cannot be more different than FRIENDS. While FRIENDS was a comedy, Supernatural is a thriller. While the 1994 show showed people with co-dependent friendships, the 2005 one shows two brothers who could not be more cut-off from the world.

Life is far too short to fixate over one single thing I suppose. Even if that particular thing gives you immense happiness and giving it up means that you feel like a part of you is gone forever. But then, only when there’s space, can something new enter. After all, too much of something, even if its not bad is not a very good thing.

I like to think of FRIENDS ending and Supernatural beginning in my life as a metaphor, for what’s about to come ahead. I have to leave familiarity, leave what is known to venture into the real world, which is terrible, unknown and most of all, dangerous.

But there’s something to be said about the risk of course, its purely adrenalin and that makes me want to jump headfirst into whatever’s coming. I know its going to be difficult, and I know I’ll have to make decisions that can either make or break my life and I might not make the right decision.  It’s scary and terrifying. I might have just made a decision to reject a certain offer and I might not get another chance. Who really knows?

But I believe that in  the end, I must do what my heart and brain both agree on. Whether its the right thing to do or not, because if you can’t trust your gut instinct, what can you trust really?  And what is the right thing for someone or some society, might not be the right thing for you. And that’s okay, really. After all we’re all as different as we are the same.

So, I guess what this post from me wants to say is that the unfamiliar and the unknown might not be so bad. They’re okay really. And if I do happen to get lost, there’s always a way out because if there’s a way in then there’s a way out. It might not be very good, and you might be different than how you were when you entered but you’ll come out all the same. And that is one of the best experiences.

After all, whatever begins must end and whatever ends must have a beginning.

Until the next cryptic post,

Nia.

tumblr_m7ryo8TBNl1r0ixdro1_500

tumblr_msjsdpiIWb1sdwreao1_500

tumblr_m7ux97bAMU1r6vdmco1_500

tumblr_m714zi5Uup1rowfq4o1_500

tumblr_mg0a0kfKdC1qd1zaho1_500

 

The End of An Era – Junior College

For all intents and purposes my junior college life had ended way back in December but there was tiny part of me that knew that until I wrote that last word and slashed across the unused sheet of my Psychology board answer paper, I wouldn’t be done with the two most exciting [so far] years of my seventeen year old life.

So, yes, in a nutshell or a very long sentence, I am back in action. No more sneaking on the computer [no mother, I didn't sneak, really] or stopping myself from reading books I so desperately wanted to read. I really believe that there is some force that is nothing but mean and mischievous that puts all sorts of grand ideas of movies, TV shows to watch and other things I could do instead of studying.

Here’s a gist of what happened in the past three and thee quarters of months:

December 2013:

I had a great time in college, my class won their Carol Singing Competition for the second time in a row. The competition was in effect the last day of college for most of us, though some other ambitious people chose to come the next day as well. I waxed my arms for the first time and I must say I am not keen to repeat the experience any time soon. It hurts awfully. Then the professors scared us some more about the prelims that were to be held in the first week of January. What a fun way to spend the start of the new year.

Not.

January 2014:

And finally the prelims descended upon hordes of twelfth students who only made the mistake of choosing to study for a degree instead of a diploma. Oh well, that passed fairly quickly and that effectively started the last month of preparation for the boards one would get.  All of January passed with the litany of ‘it’s your future. What you do now, affects your whole future.’

Scary.

February 2014:

The month that was not. The words, ‘Give up the TV and PC for one month, you’ll have three months later,’ were added to the litany that I was constantly surrounded by. I’m sure all of the well wishers meant well, but it was still irritating to be asked, “Done studying?” when the dark circles around my eyes indicated I clearly was nowhere completion.

On a lighter notes, I turned seventeen this February and this blog completed a year as well. My birthday was spent studying for the Sociology I had the next day. Also, I thank everyone who remembered the day and wished me in spite of their exams.

Even though I miss being sixteen, seventeen seems pretty fun. Well, until I remember that all of my friends have turned or will turn eighteen this year while I still have a year to become a legal adult. Still, I’m not complaining, it’s fun to be the youngest in the group.

The last week of February finally brought along the dreaded boards with its vast portions to be studied, its stupid, unfair and illogical timetables and its general depression. Joy.

March 2014:

The month of March dawned with the worst papers – Economics and History that had a gap of one day. If I ever meet the person(s) who wrote the time table for Arts, I will have some choice words to say to them. And of course, after the debacle that History probably was there was a twelve day gap until the Psycho paper so we could make ourselves nuts by either worrying about History, getting fed up of Psycho or just being bored with the Boards in general.

And now, I write to having endured all of this and possibly more. If it seems that I didn’t do much these four months, it’s because there was robot living my life who had been programmed that fun was not an option until the boards were done and dusted with. I almost had no life.

Well, I am back now and am about to have as much fun with my life that I can fit into these holidays. Today was an overwhelming day. I didn’t know if I should read a book, surf the internet until I feel the need to kick my PC down or watch one or possibly, more probably, several seasons of some new TV show.

I have three months to decide. Excellent. This free feeling is probably what our Freedom Fighters fought for. Or maybe it was something similar, because this is a great feeling.

I must take my leave now. I have several interesting things to pursue. I will write much more, since I haven’t written a word for more than three months straight. Technically though I wrote quite a few words, with few being equal to a lot of thousands in my papers (Arts is a field that is purely theory) but they weren’t what I really wanted to write.

Life is good and I’m doing what I love most: lazing around.

Until the next time,

Nia.

Image